Dying to Get There
by Xtreme Therapy
Summary: Luigi and Booette celebrate their one month anniversary by going on a road trip up the coast to Luigi's beach house. Booette pines for Luigi's attention and resorts to extreme methods of getting it. Meanwhile Luigi is once again tasked with the daunting challenge of taking his demonic girlfriend out in broad daylight. Fluff piece, contains graphic sex.
1. Daddy Luigi

Luigi was fast asleep in his bed, laying on his back, a green blanket drawn tight over him. The faint light of the moon flickered into his master bedroom. A cool, damp breeze wafted into the room, sending a shiver down his back. He shifted slightly, sniffling, his eyes prying open.

Luigi looked towards the ceiling, his vision coming to. A shape came into focus, the outline of a shadow hanging back in the darkness, womanly in appearance. The pale glow of her skin shining only partly visible, the dull glow of her magenta eyes, her face lay back in the shadow behind the ring of light thrown by the window.

Luigi, seeing the specter of a person hanging from the ceiling, sprung awake, and shrieked. He threw the blankets over his eyes.

She covered her eyes, instinctively.

"...oh," Luigi said. He slowly lowered the blanket, smiling in relief. "What's up?"

"... Hi Luigi!" Booette replied, her fangs shining dully in the dark.

Luigi smiled back. "Hi."

"Do you want a glass of cold water? Or warm milk?" She asked.

"No, I'm good." He said sleepily.

"How about some tea? Stress relief? Anti-insomnia? Anti-bloat?"

"No, no, thanks." Luigi smiled, and then turned on his side. "Goodnight, honey."

"Sleep well..." She said soothingly, now levitating over him, her hand caressed his cheek.

Luigi passed into a dreamless sleep.

Hours later, his eyes detected a change in light. Now the sun crept in through the windows of Luigi's master bedroom. The morning horizon was clear, and the first golden rays came in low through the woods, beaming in through the window delicately, illuminating the air and pushing the shadows away. Kaleidoscopic first light swayed back and forth with the shadows from behind the curtain swaying softly in the autumn breeze.

Luigi's eyes pried open again. He took in a breath, cool and balmy. The scent of wet earth and leaves wafted in. He listened to the sounds of birds chirping, trees swaying, and leaves bristling, and laid back in silence.

He turned towards the morning light, and pushed aside the curtain, to catch a view of the sun, a red disk beset by clouds hanging low on the horizon, rising slowly above the canopies of the forest that ringed his mansion. The sun lit every tree trunk and branch that it loomed behind. The light became too bright, and Luigi looked away, faintly, and returned his eyes to the bedroom.

Now squinting and re-adjusting to the light indoors, he glanced into the shadows adjacent to the center of the room. She stood there at the far back corner, unmoving, hanging back to where the sunlight would not go, silver hair hanging over her eyes.

"Good morning!" Luigi smiled.

Boette looked up at him, her magenta eyes now shining out from between her tufts of her hanging, wavy bangs. "Hello, Luigi!" She said, brushing her hair aside to look at him directly.

Luigi took a deep yawn and smiled proudly. After weeks of soul-gazing and intimacy exercises, as well as plain trial and error (mostly error), Luigi and Booette could now maintain sustained eye contact for an impressive 43 seconds. Anything longer than this led to tears.

Booette stepped into where he could see. Her hair was a thick, wavy bedhead of white that hung down all around her face, her shoulders and down her body.

Luigi realized she was wearing another one of his shirts again. This was a long white one that said "MAMALUIGI" in green. Luigi got as a joke gift, but it looked good on her—especially how hugged her sizable bust, which was now hanging out a bit freer than usual, as well as the fact it only stopped at her thick, pearly thighs.

"How did you sleep?" She asked, curiously.

"I only had one night terror." Luigi said.

"I know, I think I caused it." She said. "But it's still a new record!"

"Hey that's great," Luigi said stretching, "how was your night?"

"I had a wonderful time just shifting around the room watching you sleep." She said cheerfully. "I went to the ceiling, the walls, outside the window, way back in the closet, the vanity mirror, the foot of your bed, from the small crack in the door to the hallway..."

"I'm flattered," Luigi yawned. "I uh, I see that you're still wearing my clothes."

"I am." She said, sighing softly, looking down. "Oh Luigi, feeling my body in my old, restricting dress just isn't the same… It's like I don't feel close enough to you that way. Wearing this is so much more like being with you. Your touch, your scent, your sweat, feeling it all on my bare skin..."

Luigi's curiosity was now definitely peaked."Somebody gave that to me as a joke gift..."

"You don't like me in it?" She asked, pouting.

"I didn't say that..."

"Oh." Booette blinked, and thought.

Luigi smiled nervously as she studied him.

Her pout slowly turned into a blushing, fanged smile. She spoke softly. "So are you saying that you'd rather have me take it off?"

"I-I didn't say that, either..." Luigi stammered.

Booette began to sway her hips left and right, and delicately grabbed the bottom hem of her t-shirt, and slowly lifted it up past her shaved pussy and her wide thighs, past her slender stomach and belly button, stopping rolling it up just underneath the outline of her heavy breasts. She pulled the fabric up against the bottom of her breasts, jiggling slightly through the fabric. She kept pulling until the bottom of the shirt snapped up from underneath her breasts, revealing their supple, pale undersides and the beginnings of the crease between them.

Luigi stared, transfixed.

Booette met Luigi's glance, blushed slightly, and gave a final, slight pull. When her shirt couldn't hold them back anymore, her massive, snowy pillows spilled out jiggling, revealing her pink nipples and sensitive areolas. Booette pulled the shirt off her head, and threw it over her shoulder.

"Better now?" She teased, again swaying her hips left and right, sexily sliding her hands up her hips, her sides, stopping at her chest, and starting to play with her breasts by mushing them together for him, her pink nipples perking out at him sideways.

Luigi felt the bulge in his boxers, looked down, and realized his cock had become instantaneously hard. "Yes..."

Booette reached for the blanket, and yanked it off the bed in one swipe. She then climbed up onto the sheets. Luigi watched as she slowly slipped his boxers right off, his erect cock poking out. She threw his boxers over her shoulder to land on top of his t-shirt. Booette climbed up on to him, and rested her knees over his lap. She wasted no time, blushing in anticipation, she eased down on the tip. She slid down onto his dick, balls deep. Her magenta eyes rolled up and she whispered his name, half-sighing, half-gasping.

Luigi's felt his hard cock going into her pussy, hot, tight, and wet. He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

Booette leaned in, placing her hands on his chest, her breasts began to quiver and shake as she gently rode him.

Luigi felt the way her cunt slid up and down his dick. Her pussy pulling him tight each way as she picked up pace.

He lifted his hands up and placed them on her large and lovely ass, cupping her cheeks gently as she lifted up and down, her soft fat skin filling out between his fingers. Luigi put his back into it and started thrusting up, bouncing as she rode him.

Booette bounced up and back down, each time meeting his thrust, landing on his cock and taking it in deep. Her hair flowed and fluttered. Her lovely breasts whipped and jiggled freely. She hung her head back, her white hair cascaded down. She moaned for him, her blueish tongue hanging out past her lips.

She leaned forward, placing her palms on the headboard, her breasts hanging down over him heavily. She began bouncing up and down, using her bed to bounce up and down on him, his cock hammering her pussy every time. Luigi began to feel light-headed as the minutes came on, he slipping out of reality, mesmerized by the sight of her riding his cock and the sensation of fucking her. He shut his eyes, and focused on the feeling building in his lap. He felt the fleshy, soft weight of Booette's thighs bouncing of his lap, the heat radiating off her pussy, enough to make his lap sweat like he was carrying a pizza in a car seat.

The pleasure kept coming, and coming, and coming. He shut his eyes, hard, and grasped the sheets. He then gasped out in ecstasy, feeling a chemical rush, a coming orgasm. "Princess! Yo—you can't go that fast! ..."

"Need me to slow down, daddy?" She said, stopping her bouncing, releasing herself from the headboard, now balancing herself on his chest again.

Booette leaned in over him, her breasts hanging down in his face. She began rocking forward and backwards on his cock, each time her breasts slid up his chest to slide against his face. Her locks and strands of sweaty white hair fell down all around his head, framing him. Every time she leaned back on his cock she clenched him, hard.

Luigi's face turned beet red. His balls began to shrivel up. He felt an amazing pull in his cock, a slipping, a rush. He pulled himself back from the brink of orgasm.

"We have to slow down..." He whispered, desperately.

"Oh?" Booette smiled, wickedly. She rocked down on his cock, and clenched him tightly, before going on, her breasts knocking up against his face.

"But—you haven't..." He sighed.

"I want you to cum..." She said, going back down on his cock, clenching, hard. Luigi felt like his cock would explode.

"I..." Luigi stammered. He looked up at Booette, naked, beautiful, her body bathed in the golden light of the sun, her breasts filling up his vision, he looked down at his cock, seeing her cunt literally sucking and pulling on the shaft of his cock, taking it in all the way.

"What's the matter, daddy?" She sighed.

Luigi clutched the sheets, her hair hanging down around him, her eyes shining. He felt his heart pounding, so close to letting go.

"Are you going to _cum?_ "

He pulled himself back, feeling a sweet, rushing pull, too good to resist. He let loose. Luigi yelled out, cumming inside her hot cunt with six pumps. The sweet release overtook him, each pump letting loose, each release a moment in heaven. He laid back sighing, her rolling locks of hair clinging to the sweat on his face, and covering his eyes.

The two laid together in silence, frozen in place. Luigi's body was drenched in sweat, and clung to hers. He felt the flesh of her body softly pushing against him, the rising and falling of her chest, the satisfying feeling of his cock going limp inside her hot pussy. Her hands slid against his chest.

The two stared at one another, until Booette relented, and shut her eyes to kiss him instead. Their lips pressed together, and they shared kiss after kiss, savoring every one. After this had ended, Booette's magenta eyes slowly slid open. She leaned back up and lifted herself up and off his cock, which hung back limp like over-boiled linguine.

Booette breathed and panted quickly and sensitively. Gobs of semen from the Super Nut that Luigi had busted came dripping down out of her pussy and down onto the sheets. She dabbed it up, rubbing it off on a bed sheet.

"I... love you, Luigi." She said, smiling, and blushing, leaning up against the bedpost.

Luigi laid flat on his back and stared on into space, swept out in a sea of pleasure, his chest heaving up and down.

"Luigi?" She waved a hand in his face. "Ooh! Are you having an out-of-body experience!?"

"… No."

"Aww." She huffed, looking on in disappointment.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Review & comment please. I'm torn between whether or not I should continue this, or not and just be a normal functioning human being w/a job and bills and shit instead.**


	2. The Revenant

"I was going to say, I have a surprise for you." Luigi smiled, leaning in.

"You're going to help finish me off?" She looked at him, her eyes lighting up.

Luigi blinked, blushing. "Oh, right! Sorry."

Booette glanced down, smiling crookedly. She spread her legs, slowly.

Luigi crawled in-between her legs, placing one hand on her inner thigh. He gazed at her pussy, spread open for him, pink, and very, very welcoming.

Booette looked almost ready to faint in anticipation. When she saw how Luigi stared, she turned her head, eyes darting away in embarassment. "Luigi-don't stare. Just..."

Luigi reached out, and stroked her clit.

Booette gasped, jumping. Her magenta eyes went wide. "Gently, like always..."

Luigi quietly began pushing her clit in soft, delicate circles with his fingertip.

Booette, flushing deeply, gave him a tortured look. "S-stop teasing me..." She gently grabbed at his wrist, pulling it closer. "Luigi, please..."

Luigi smiled, and slid his middle finger in. He pushed it in deeply, feeling the soft, wetness, quivering and clinging to his digit.

Booette huffed, shaking, laying up against the headboard, closing her eyes and swearing softly under her breath.

Luigi began pulling his finger back and forth, come-hither. "I have another surprise for you, actually."

"Ohh?" Booette huffed, opening her eyes to look at him, shyly. "You treat me so well..."

"I was thinking." Luigi looked straight into her eyes, a bold, nervous anticipation overtaking him.

"Y-es?" Booette struggled to hold his gaze.

"I was thinking about us going somewhere." He smiled.

"And where might that be?" She asked, shutting her eyes and breathing heavily.

"The coast of the kingdom. I rented a beach house for us to stay in."

"Luigi, Luigi, more fingers, more fingers..." She pleaded.

Luigi obliged, adding his index finger to Booette's quivering delight. He began to slide them both up and down her sugar walls in tandem. Luigi felt the way her pussy clenched, pulled and tugged at his fingers. He entertained the thought of going back in, his manhood rising again at the thought. But he fought it. He couldn't push back leaving any further. If he went back in, they would never leave, and wind up spending another day in bed together.

"How does that sound?" He asked, looking into her eyes again.

"I-I can't wait..." She sighed.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Luigi said, fingering her slowly. Booette leant back in building ecstasy, her chest heaving and collapsing. "We leave today, this morning."

"Luigi?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes looked down, bashfully.

"What?" Luigi smiled.

"Another finger." She whispered.

Luigi added his ring finger.

Booette sighed, deeply. "Ohh, Daddy..."

Luigi returned to his work. "You like the beach, right?"

"Mmmhmm!" She gushed.

"And you don't mind getting wet, do you?" He smiled, slipping his fingers in up to the knuckle.

Booette sighed, her magenta eyes rolling up, her body jumping,"Oh, Luigi, what do you think?!"

"Well?

"L-Luigi..." She shivered.

"Yes?"

"I…" She looked down. "I think we have other matters at hand..." She smiled cutely, but her eyes, her breath, and her pussy all begged him to continue.

In the weeks of attempted dating, Luigi had become intimately familiar with Booette's body and its needs, day after day, night after night.

Luigi, all fingers now in, made love to her with them.

"Ohh, Luigi, if you keep this up, I think I'm going to cum..."

He worked tenderly, moving quickly.

"I'm-I'm almost there..."

Sweat coursed off Luigi's forehead, he set his free hand on her thigh, leaning in over her intently. All the while Booette moaned softly, cried under her breath, sighed, gasped and muttered his name, again, again, again, until it began to lose meaning, until all he could do was work her towards finishing, squirting, cumming. He listened, excited as the way her body began to take over, now only able to moan and whimper, stretching, and sighing.

Booette arched her back like an animal. She closed her eyes, and jerked to the side, her body twisting and contorting, her pussy clinging to his fingers tightly, folding her arms behind her head, clutching the headboard wildly, her blue nails scraping down the side of the bedpost, she hung her head back, and moaned his name, one final time.

For a while Luigi simply remained where he was, panting, sweaty strands of brown hair clinging to his forehead. Booette laid back against the headboard, breathing heavily in a long, ecstatic silence.

After several minutes, Luigi realized where he was again. Slowly he took his fingers out of Booette's snatch, coated in wetness, slipping out past her pussy lips with ease. The sensation was enough to wake Booette from the afterglow of her orgasm. Luigi wiped his fingers off on her thigh, and then sat back.

After a long silence, Booette turned to Luigi. "So what was your surprise again?"

Luigi shook his head. "Uh, I'll tell you over breakfast."

Luigi and Booette got up out of bed, and went into the bathroom together. They enjoyed a long, steamy shower together, especially the process of soaping eachother down. Down on her knees once again, Booette took extra care when she tenderly washed his slack, sensitive cock with his own loofa before moving down to his legs and feet before finally shampooing his hair, her soft, feminine fingers dancing slowly through her hair, rubbing in the shampoo.

Luigi returned the favor, lathering her up, paying special attention to her swollen breasts, her round thighs, and her magnificent ass. She sat down on the shower floor, leaning back into him as he worked delicately to condition and shampoo her hair. Booette rested, panting with her tongue hanging from the heat as she relished the water, the steam and his touch.

When they got out, they wrapped one another in bath towels. Luigi made his way towards the mirror and sink to freshen up. Feeling a sixth sense, Luigi looked over his shoulder. Booette had vanished, leaving her towel laying flat on the ground. Luigi hung it up, and made his way back to the mirror.

Luigi took out his toothbrush, nonplussed. Booette had the occasional habit of falling in and out of the visible spectrum of light. Luigi, having done his research online, saw this was fully natural for a ghost. He started to brush his teeth, when Booette's reflection now appeared in the mirror, brushing her fangs.

She waved at him, winking. Luigi smiled and waved back.

After they were finished brushing, Luigi took out his shaving cream and a green razor.

"Hey honey, do you mind moving?" He said. "I need to see so I can shave."

Booette's hand reached out from the mirror. She took the razor out of his hand. "But I want to do it!"

Luigi smiled. He could never say no her. "Okay, but watch the 'stache. I just had it styled."

"Mmm-hmm…" Booette nodded, her hand reaching out of the reflection, now shaving him from the mirror.

Booette shaved him gently and carefully, working away his stubble with undying care and precision. When she was finished, Luigi turned on the sink, and she began to splash water in his face for him, washing away the cream with warm water. "Aftershave?"

Luigi nodded.

Booette handed him some, and patted it on his chin.

"Cologne?" She leant in, and sprayed it on his neck. "Oh, and one last thing..."

"What?" Luigi blinked.

She leant in, her head neck and shoulders extending in through the mirror. She kissed him on the lips. "I love you!" She went back into the mirror, and vanished from the reflection.

Luigi smiled suavely, finger-gunning the mirror. "Right back at you."

After quickly throwing some clothes on, Luigi and Booette made their way to the dining. The sun was now rising high in the east, the golden dawn gave way to solid blue. Luigi went about making coffee, a bagel and orange juice for himself. Though would have loved to cook a banquet for them both, Booette didn't eat, so this defeated the purpose of going for something that wasn't easy.

Turning to admire his girlfriend, Luigi noted the glow of Booette's eyes and skin were fading, her eyes turning to a dull red, and her skin appearing pale. He also noticed how she wore his lavish green bathrobe with a golden "L" stitched into it. He especially noticed how she tied it very loosely at her waist, and left it gaping open, revealing half her breasts to him.

With that, Luigi wore a contented smile as he took in the sights of the wonderful morning he'd had. He wore a muscle shirt and a pair of blue-green striped boxers. He then resumed putting cream cheese on a bagel. "Early to bed,"

"Early to catch your worm." She mused.

"It's catch THE worm, honey." Luigi said, taking a bite of his bagel. "Anyway, do you know what today is?"

"No..."

"It's important."

"I still don't know what today is." Booette observed. "Or yesterday. Or any time for that matter."

"Well, today is important. It's our one month anniversary."

"Really?!" Booette leant forward, her snowy breasts nearly spilling out of her robe. Luigi stared, causing Booette to lift her robe back up slightly. "Wait, is that a long time?"

"It is if you've never been in a committed relationship before." Luigi said, looking on.

Booette reached out and cupped Luigi's hand across the table. "It's okay, Luigi. I died a virgin if that makes you feel better."

Luigi contemplated a simple "yes" but quickly took a swig of coffee, changing the subject instead. "Funny how time and mortality work, eh?"

"Yes, yes it is very funny!" She nodded. "So we're leaving this morning?"

"That's right." Luigi smiled, leaning back. "All we have to do is pack a few essentials, and we're off on the way to our romantic retreat for a weekend getaway."

"A weekend getaway!?" Booette gaped, her blueish tongue slid out between her fangs, unbidden. "Oh, Luigi, I don't know what to say!" Her left eye slid shut, and then flicked and blinked spasmodically.

"Uh..." Luigi's voice trailed.

She turned slowly to face Luigi with a piercing stare that filled him with love, yet sub-conciously disturbed him by reminding him of the way shadows swallowed unlit rooms at night, or of the blackness between stars.

"… Wanna help me pack the car?" Luigi asked after a long, nervous pause.

"Okay!" She nodded, and went with him out of the kitchen. "So you said we're going on a beach house?"

"That's right! Water should still be warm." Luigi started, going up the stairs." We can fly kites, go on hikes, long walks, stargaze, the works. Maybe we could even head into town." Luigi smirked. "I could take you on a ghost tour."

Booette made her way up the stairs behind him, floating over every other step. "Would we be meeting all the ghosts of your dead jokes?" She asked, blinking.

Luigi blinked, taken aback, and stopped at the top of the stairs to glance back at her.

"… Luigi, I didn't mean it that way, I take it back!" Booette begged, suddenly. She had become aware of her tendency to insult Luigi without intending to. She dropped and clung to his knee. "Don't be offended—don't do this to me, please!"

"Mama mia, it's fine, it's fine..." Luigi put his hands out, smiling. "Let's go get dressed so we can finish packing."

Luigi and Booette returned to the bedroom, now filled with the natural, blue light of morning, the corners lit and gleaming. Luigi and Booette stripped out of their clothing, silently eyeing one another as they dressed.

Booette swung her hand, the air around her touch condensing into a purple-black miasma, from which appeared a set of clothes. Once she was finished dressing, Booette wore a white summer slip dress, semi-transparent in the light. The glow revealed the outline of the tight white bikini that she wore underneath of it. She tied her hair up in a long ponytail.

Luigi put on a green button down shirt, brown shoes and a pair of khaki shorts. He put on a pair of aviators and rubbed some suncreen on his nose.

Booette tilted her head curiously, "Luigi, why are you dressed like you're trying to trick people into thinking you own a boat?"

"I don't-" Luigi said. "I, I mean- I'm not! We just need to keep a low profile. Especically with the crisis going on."

"Whatever you say, Luigi." Booette sighed. She walked up to Luigi, concerned.

"… What?" He asked.

Booette immediately began unbuttoning Luigi's shirt. Luigi blushed, lifting his hand to touch hers. She slapped it away, and then unbuttoned the rest, revealing his v-necked undershirt. She fluffed out his chest hair and then smiled in relief.

"So, are you bringing anything?" Luigi asked. "Extra clothes, or… do you just want extra shirts?

"Pack me some of your extra shirts, please. They're so warm at night. Oh, make sure they're unwashed. The older and mustier the better."

"Neat. I'll pack some."

Booette thought deeply, peering nervously at the closet.

Luigi blinked. "Uh… Booette?"

"… No, Luigi, wait, I take that back." She said quickly, making her way to the closet door. "Luigi, I want to pick."

Luigi walked up next to Booette, staring into the closet with her, mostly filled with a uniform line of his blue overalls and green shirts, but also with cubby holes of casual clothing, which Booette was especially drawn to.

"They're all my shirts. I wear all of them and love them all equally." Luigi reasoned, and then turned to her. "You-"

" **I GET TO PICK!** " She screeched, her voice flanging into a deep, unnatural pitch.

"Okay, okay!" Luigi shouted back. "Geez..."

"Yay!" She celebrated, clapping her hands, and went into the closet.

Luigi, listening to Booette quietly whispering to herself in a heated debate over which of his clothes he would take and wear, realized she was going to be a while, he decided to tie up loose ends by packing anything he'd forgotten about yesterday afternoon before she had arrived.

Luigi went back to his bathroom, and started rooting through the medicine cabinet, taking his toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and other necessities.

He took out a box of Daruk's Protection. Luigi considered bringing the condoms. Then, he remembered last time she cried black tears and begged him to peel it back off and give it to her raw. So he left it in place.

After gathering these and a series of other miscellaneous supplies, Luigi found Booette on her knees in the middle of the room, stuffing random articles of his clothing into one of his spare suitcases. She wore his green cap on backwards, carrying an armful of green briefs in one arm, his tennis shoes in her other hands, two green socks over her hands, and four of his belts. "Okay, I think I have enough to last me the week, but I had to prioritize. I couldn't take your zoot suit."

"Oh well, maybe next vacation." Luigi said, and began adding what he'd taken to the suitcase as well. "Short of this, this is just about everything. Next thing I need to get is my phone."

"Oh, that thing?" Booette asked. "I heard it buzzing earlier, it sounded angry."

"Probably Daisy." Luigi said, brushing the back of his head. "She's been lighting up my phone again..."

Booette smiled innocently, and said nothing. She passed by Luigi, dancing a finger across his neck.

Luigi ignored Booette's attitude towards Daisy-he'd grown used to it. He liked to leave the problems that those two had to each other.

Luigi wondered about Daisy. For the first few weeks after he and Booette had started dating, she hadn't even spoken to him, in person or online. Then, just one week ago around midnight, she randomly texted him asking him if he'd "given up the ghost".

To which he'd simply replied, "I already did".

This was the last time they'd spoken. But Luigi wondered, was it really his fault? He didn't think so. Even for a tomboy, Daisy was always indirect. There were times he thought they were in love, they seemed in love, yet things always stayed that way, and never seemed clear. With Booette, things were always clear. She made it obvious to him what she wanted, and it was something Luigi was in no position to refuse, no matter what his former girlfriend said or did.

Luigi hoped that they could still be friends, but he didn't think it was likely at this point. Things were changing. Everything was changing.

"What are you thinking about, Luigi?"

"Nothing that matters now," He replied, rubbing the back of his head.

After first meeting Booette, Luigi emerged not quite the same person that he was before he'd met her, but outside it was all the same because nobody really cared. With Mario off visiting his new paramour in the Koopa Kingdom, people had even less reason to pay attention to him.

Even so, if Luigi sometimes felt alone, his mansion had visitors. Toad might come by to ask for money. DK sometimes climbed in through trees and windows to raid his fridge. The professor would come around with a shovel and bury depleted, reverse-engineered X-Naut power cells in the backyard regardless of Luigi's concerns about his well water. But the last visitor was one who regularly visited him every night, always at the witching hour, at first in a flowing white dress, later in white stockings, lace garters and underwear, and finally in nothing at all. With Booette around, there was now no doubt in Luigi's mind he was ever, or would ever be left alone again.

As Luigi and Booette went down the stairs, Luigi carried all the luggage. There was a skip in Booette's step that sometimes led to floating across the floor.

One last time, Luigi thought about the state of his mansion. The professor would be looking after it, and he hoped he would not come back to find it sucked into a parallel dimension, contaminated with gamma radiation or overtaken by new ghosts. Luigi glanced at Booette.

Before she had arrived last night, she had told him before that she wanted to take a leave from her court so she could be with him, so this was his chance to treat his queen like a queen. In her absence, Booette had left power to the Bowncil, a circle of the top-ranking members from her royal court, headed by Lady Bow. At first the Princess had been concerned by the politics behind the name and wanted it changed, but Bow insisted on it until Booette became emotional and caved in anyway.

Booette led Luigi to the front door of the mansion. She stopped to pull it open. Her hand passed through the doorknob if it were composed of vapor. "Wait, Luigi, I need to do that again-"

"Do what again?" Luigi asked, not being able to see or tell, and walked into the door.

His suitcase spilled open, littering the floor with articles of his clothing, board games, and a bottle of _Dry Bone_ _s_ lubricant.

"Luigi, I'm so sorry..." Booette anguished, hiding her face in her hands.

Luigi got up, gathered his stuff with a smile, and went on as if nothing had happened. "It's only natural." He kissed her on the cheek, causing her to go a deeper shade of pink.

Natural or not, Luigi silently noted Booette was much better at making physical contact with him intimately than making physical contact with liquids, solids or inanimate objects. This left Luigi suspicious as to where Booette's priorities were when it came to learning how to interact with the corporeal world.

The two opened the front doors of the mansion and stepped into the daylight. The wind blew softly through the trees, whose green was now giving way to the orange and amber of autumn. The sky was an azure blue against the light of the sun that filtered in through the blowing leaves. The air was rapidly warming since the morning, and Luigi felt he wouldn't have regretted wearing summer-ish clothes midway into autumn.

Walking towards the garage adjacent to his mansion's driveway, Luigi allowed his anxieties to voice themselves—it's a habit he'd learned to live with. Driving with Booette wasn't easy, and this would be the longest trip he ever took her on. At least this time he'd chosen the destination, as Booette's tastes were strange. He still remembered their awkward dates to places like Gusty Gulch, the Haunted Carnival, or Ravenholm.

Luigi also glanced at his girlfriend, and hoped that this trip would have more romance and less hauntings. Luigi had always found Booette simultaneously attractive and terrifying, but he'd learned to be more confident around her. Naturally he was not used to living with a ghost, but at least most of his dreams about her were sexual, save for the recurring one where she led him on a date that took him through a foggy forest at dawn to uncover her grave underneath a willow tree, where her corpse then rose and pulled him into the earth. Not much for conversation after breakfast.

Luigi opened the garage door with his keys. The doors slid open, the shadows pulled back, and Luigi and Booette laid eyes on Luigi's car, a green, open sportscar with leather seats and plates that read "LOTSASPAGHETTI".

After putting the rest of his luggage in the backseat, Luigi opened the door for Booette.

"This way, my liege." Luigi smiled.

"Oh, Luigi, thank you!" Booette climbed in, not bothering to buckle in. "I love cars. They create so many wonderful ghosts."

"Yeah, more than strokes, I hear." Luigi observed, and then got into the drivers seat. He fixed the mirrors. Ran over in his head if he was missing anything. Remembered where the water and paper towels were. Recalled the last time he changed the oil, aligned the tires, checked them for air…

Luigi remembered not to let her distract him by A: being socially awkward and talking to him about abstract things, B: allowing himself not to stare at her breasts, which would be bouncing and jiggling through the fabric of her dress. This would be incredibly difficult, but Luigi was ready to try.

He turned the ignition, and backed out of the driveway. Turning around, he went down the long way, picking up speed, brushing leaves up out of the street, their undersides tumbling over and floating away in the passing breeze.

Booette hung her head back, put her hands behind her head, and relaxed in the seat, staring at Luigi as he drove. Luigi glanced at her, nervously. They exchanged awkward smiles, before breaking eye contact.

In that moment Luigi felt whole, in a way he never did before. He looked up to the sun, tinted by his polarized shades, and smiled happily.

* * *

 **Author's Note: This fic seems to have a decent niche following so I'm going to keep it going. Comments welcome. Thank you for your support.**


	3. Roadkill

Luigi flew down the highway at a brisk seventy miles an hour. The wind swept through his hair. A continuous bursts of oncoming air filled his ears. The ocean was in sight, a solid blue horizon that stretched out to meet the edge of the sky, skirted by passing white clouds. The sun, now a solid white, rose towards its midday height.

Booette's ponytail flowed in the wind behind her stuck her head out the window. She held out her drooping tongue, which flopped backwards in the wind, dripping with black saliva. This turned the heads of drivers passing on the other side of the road.

"So, have you thought about getting a phone?" Luigi asked casually, watching the road. "I think it would help with the long distance problem."

Booette brought herself back into the passenger seat."Why stalk you electronically when I do can do it ethereally?"

"Wow, can't argue with that. But wouldn't you rather go on social media? You'd be huge online."

Booette blinked. "Social media?"

"It's done through smartphones." Luigi explained. "5G networks, WiFi, the Internet?"

Booette tilted her head, slightly. Again her tongue began to slide out between her jagged teeth, dripping with black saliva. A drop fell to stain fresh alongside several other faded dots on the seat.

"Uh..." Luigi returned his gaze to the road. "Maybe we should just listen to the radio..."

"What's radio?" She asked. "Is it like semaphore?"

Luigi turned to her again. "Semaphore?"

"You know..." She began making a series of signals with her hands. "Optical telegraphy? Semaphore! I thought you were smart, Luigi!"

"Oh, right. Semaphore. That. Sure." Luigi nodded. "So uh, what did all of that just mean?"

Her magenta eyes peered on, naughtily. "You'll find out…"

Luigi shifted in his seat slightly, blushing. He switched on the radio to the news.

 _"Welcome back to TTPR, I'm Arrogan T, speaking live on Toad Town Public Radio with my guest, Impartiali T. Impartiali, you've spoken extensively on the subject, what are your thoughts on the political row between Bowsette and Princess Toadstool?"_

 _"Well Arrogan, I think there's wrong on both sides. Now, is my saying this going to resolve the problem at hand? No. But does it give me a convenient opt out that also allows me plausible deniability over the fact that I'm indirectly helping to perpetuate the problem on the public level? Ohohoh, you betcha."_

Luigi switched the radio off. "Ah, the news is so depressing these days." Luigi, again, returned his eyes to the road. He checked his KnowDaWae GPS app on his phone.

"Well, at least we're making good progress! At this rate we'll be there before sunset. It's a good thing we went down off-season. These roads back up like you won't believe during the season rush. One year Mario and I had to drive over to the Mushroom Stadium, but we got caught in beach traffic, and then the rain hit us while we had the canopy down. But that time it wasn't rain."

While Luigi went on, distracted by the road, Booette reached out at him with a burning hunger, bearing her fangs, her mouth gaping.

"You see, Bowser had Kammy and Kamek put a spell in the clouds so that it rained… well, poop. The entire highway was covered in it. So were we, but that comes with the territory I guess. So Mario and I had to borrow a Lakitu's cloud, and go up and catch the Magikoopas before they pooped all over the rest of the highway. It wasn't an easy fight, but at least we stopped the Magikoopas from raining poop all over the rest of the kingdom! Pardon my French, but I guess you can say my brother and I stopped a real shitstorm."

Luigi looked back to Booette, who was now only inches away from him, again reaching out with a burning hunger. She instantly returned to her seat, trying to look casual.

"You always tell such riveting stories, Luigi!" She cooed. "I'd love to be a part of one. Luigi, why don't you ever talk about me in your diary?"

"You read my diary!?" Luigi shrieked. "Is that why it's been missing!?"

"Stop asking passive-aggressive questions and answer mine!" She shrieked back.

Luigi sighed, pounding his head against the wheel. "I haven't written in my diary since I met you. Since you took it, and all. Didn't you check the entry dates?"

Booette donned her round-rimmed reading glasses. "I could check again." She reached inside her snap dress, and pulled it out from the inside of her bikini top.

Luigi stared. "That wasn't there when you put that on..."

Booette ignored him, and used her long tongue to lick her finger before paging through each entry carefully. "Hmmm... these dates check out. The first time I just skimmed it looking for the saucy bits..."

"So you brought it with you?" He asked.

Booette rolled her eyes. "We're going to the beach, Weegee. I need _something_ to read."

Luigi shook his head, and focused on the road, saying nothing.

Booette made herself comfortable as she read. She put her feet up on the dash, crossing them and leaned back in the seat, reading his diary with gusto. "Oh, I love this entry! It's the one where..."

Luigi eyed her feet. " _Perfect_ _ion_ _._ " He thought. He worked his way up to her pearly ankles, smooth and hairless. Then up her legs, pearly, thick, smooth, shining in the noon sun.

He felt a swerving sensation before realizing he was drifting out of the lane. He swerved over the sideline went over the rumble strips.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" She shrieked, her voice vibrating.

"Nothing, it's nothing!" Luigi jerked the wheel and swerved back into his lane, ending the reverberations.

"You're bad at this!" She said, crossing her arms across her supple chest, glaring.

Luigi eyed his gas gauge, now approaching half tank. "We should probably top this off. Prices are lower out here."

Luigi took an exit off the highway, reducing speed to twenty miles an hour, the rush of oncoming wind now subsiding. He rolled up off the ramp and proceeded, following signs until he reached a Green Shell gas station. Luigi pulled up and parked at one of the pumps. Luigi got out of the car, and went up to the machine, inserted his credit card and started gassing up. As he ran the pump, he turned to Booette, who had been staring at him the entire time.

"Hey, wait here, honey. I need to go to the bathroom." He said.

"Okay, Luigi." Booette nodded. "Hurry back."

Luigi looked to his left. A toad woman was stared at him, wide eyed. Her baby in the backseat of her car was crying. He looked to his right. A Doogan was standing next to his car, holding a fuel nozzle. Gas gushed out, the Doogan not realizing that he'd missed his gas tank.

Luigi took a deep sigh. He turned around. Booette had been floating across the air of the gas station, following him. He smacked himself in the face.

"I—I'm so sorry Luigi!" Booette flushed, struggling not to cover her eyes. "I was lonely!"

"Go back to the car, honey."

"But why!?" She fumed. "I want to go with you!"

"Because I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Let me go with you!" She begged. "Please, Luigi! I can take up the side urinal so nobody encroaches on you! I know that you have trouble peeing when other men are around! Which is weird, because you don't have anything to be insecure about!"

The bystanders all stared at Luigi, and then Booette.

"I would know!" She said to them. "Haven't any of you seen his ravioli!?"

The baby continued crying. The woman quickly got in her car. The Doogan continued pouring gas out of his nozzle. His friend, a Podoboo, floated up to him. "Hey dude, be careful-"

Luigi ignored the firey results that followed, focusing instead on Booette. "Okay, okay, come on."

Booette shut her eyes and made a fanged, satisfied smile. Luigi walked up to the door to the station, activating the sliding doors and walking in, the doors sliding shut behind him. Booette floated in after him, but hit the door.

"Luigi!" She cried.

Luigi came back, and stood on the door plate so that they opened. Booette then floated into the store.

Luigi looked around the inside of the shop. All around them were small aisles crammed with snacks, conveniences and car goods.

The clerk, a Mouser in a desert turban, stared at him and Booette. He slowly took off his desert cap, placed it over his eyes and began whispering silent prayers.

They walked past a teenaged Koopa in a hoodie playing a mobile game on his smartphone along with his friend, a Shy Guy who was sipping a pink slushie through a straw going into the mouth-hole of his mask. The Koopa looked up, saw Booette and dropped his phone, which went smashing onto the ground. His friend took a sharp slurp on his straw and then started coughing and gagging.

Luigi went into the bathroom, and Booette floated in behind him. The floor was dirty, the florescent light was dull. The urinal was ribboned up, marked with an "OUT OF ORDER" post-it note written in sloppy marker.

Luigi went for the single stall, and Booette filed in after him.

Taking a deep breath, thinking of rushing water, ignoring Booette's looming phantomly presence over his shoulder, he began to relieve himself. Once he was finished, Booette grabbed him a piece of toilet paper. Luigi quickly snatched it from her, and cleaned himself up instead.

Booette backed away, Luigi exited the stall and went to wash his hands.

"Handjob?" Booette offered.

"No thanks." Luigi politely declined. "The vomit-absorber smell in here is kind of a mood-killer."

When Luigi and Booette went back into the shop, the store was entirely empty.

Luigi scratched his head. "Hmm..." He turned to Booette.

Booette simply shrugged.

The two went out the door, past the shelf, where the clerk, the two teenagers, and several other bystanders were huddled together, one of them clinging to a crucifix, others crying, others sending desperate texts to loved ones.

Luigi stepped out through the sliding doors, Booette floating after him. The two looked around, the entire gas station was empty. The autumn wind blew softly, bending the grass around the station in waves. An empty water bottle went rolling across the asphalt. A lone car peeled into the distance, its engine roaring. The two made their way over to their car, and found their way back onto the road.

Further down the highway, they passed a billboard for Waluigi's Taco Stand.

"Want to stop there?" Booette asked.

"Sure. Maybe I can get the Cyanide Supreme."

Booette blinked. "Is that an actual menu item?"

"Waluigi said that he only offers it to select customers."

"You've eaten there before?"

"Once."

"Aww, Luigi, were you trying to be nice?"

"Not really." Luigi shook his head. "Toad got a free coupon in his junkmail and needed a ride there..."

The conversation faded, returning again to comfortable silence. A short while later they approached a tollbooth in front of a bridge over a large river that emptied out into the sea. Luigi rode up to the toll lane.

He heard a burrow, and a pop. A Monty Mole wearing a yellow-orange traffic vest and a pair of sunglasses emerged from a hole in the middle of the booth.

"Bruh…" He said, peering out at Luigi, squinting.

Luigi blinked, nervously. "Bruh? You mean Bro? As in, the Mario Bros? I'm not Luigi!"

"Luigi you sus. Now back that shit up and pull in straight so I can actually reach you!"

"Uh, right, okay." Luigi said. He backed out carefully, and re-adjusted.

"Was it just referring to me? Am I 'the shit'?" Booette asked as Luigi corrected himself.

"I think so!"

There were hearts in Booette's eyes. "Oh Luigi, it feels so wonderful when you compare me to shit!"

"Wait-oh..." Luigi turned around to face the toll operator, shakily handing himself some cash from his pocket. "Here you go."

The Monty Mole took the wad of Toadsworth dollars, and then shook his head. "… Bruh."

"What now?" Luigi sighed. "It's kingdom money. It still has value..."

"Yeah for now, that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"The point is, this is the shit I don't like. See?" He held up the wad and began counting through each dollar. "You can't fold the money like this. Holds up the line because I have to unfold it then count it."

"There wasn't a line before..." Luigi pointed out.

"Well there is now."

Luigi looked back to see a long growing line of cars, buses and trucks. "Rats..."

"Oh wow, Luigi, what's that line of cars here for?" Booette asked, turning her head. "Is it a funeral procession?"

"No, honey. Haha, this one." Luigi gestured towards Booette. "Long car rides can make her weird."

The Monty Mole took off his sunglasses in surprise. This still revealed another pair of sunglasses on underneath. "Yooo, that looks like a spectral, Boo-like copy of the princess over there. But kind of like a porn actress in there, too? Maybe it's some sexy illegitimate ghost-sister. Yeaaah, one of her parents slept with a ghost, all the evidence points to it. Damn bruh, is the princess fucking a ghost?"

"No, but he is-" Booette chirped.

"Oh, no, no!" Luigi spoke over her loudly, still talking to the booth operator. "You're just high or something. This is, uh, my girlfriend. She's totally human, don't mind her skin condition, it sometimes makes her semi-transparent. Or the purple eyes. Or her tongue. We're soul mates..."

"Soulmates?" The Mole asked.

Booette laid upside down in her seat. She lifted her legs straight up in the air, pointing and stretching them out lithely, her dress spilling down to her bikini bottom. "We mate! And mate, and mate and mate..."

"Mate..." The Monty Mole sighed, the gate to the bridge lifting.

"Uh, what?" Luigi asked.

"GO OVER THE BRIDGE!"

"Have a good day!" Luigi said, and stepped on the gas, flying out from the booth and heading over towards the bridge.

"Remind me to invest in an easy-pass." Luigi remarked.

They made their way over the bridge, the long towers passing by, swaying in the wind. The sensation of going over the shaky bridge, the rhythmic thunk-thunk of the pass, and the closeness of nearby vehicles all worked together to make Luigi's head spin. By the time he was off the bridge, he was already worried about getting a trip-threatening migraine.

Sometime later up the road, Luigi had to slow down. A car horn suddenly came blaring from behind him, the engine roared, overtook him on the right. The driver gave Luigi the middle finger, hit the gas and went motoring off.

Booette glared, viciously.

"Baby, don't..." Luigi whispered, desperately.

Booette's grimace began to contort the delicate, feminine features of her face, until her likeness became utterly terrifying.

Luigi quietly shrunk away and sunk back into his seat.

She took off out of the seat, floating up in the air, and flew after the car, drifting up in the air above the road at supernatural speed.

She flew out above the other driver's car, and vanished into the stereo. The speakers began to belt out a demonic, high-pitched screech that caused a deafening distortion, blowing out the speakers. Black bile began to flow out of the speakers, the tuning knobs and buttons on the dash, and the CD player drive. The sudden, disturbing experience was enough to shock the driver into veering off the road, smashing his car over a guardrail, the mangled body then cartwheeled down a jagged, rocky cliff, before crashing into the shallow waves below. The overturned vehicle then erupted in a gaseous fireball, the twisted metal quickly became consumed in a mix of steam and pitch-black smoke.

Luigi stayed in his lane, trembling. His heart was throbbing. "Just…" He wiped the sweat of his palms off on the wheel, "… Keep driving, Luigi… Just keep driving..."

"I'm back!" Booette said in a singsong voice, materializing back in the seat next to him. "Nobody messes with my Daddy Luigi!"

Luigi simply nodded, eyes focused intensely on the road, trying to stay focused and fighting the urge to stop the car.

Sometime later, they passed a sign advertising the kingdom's coastal region.

"There goes the border!" Luigi said.

"Oooh! I love this region." Booette swooned, cupping her hands. "It's developed so beautifully in the past hundred years,"

They passed an emaciated toad sitting in a lawnchair outside of an abandoned gas station shooting heroin.

"This calls for a treat," Luigi said, turning around to reach into the back to a cooler that he'd packed with milk and bags of cookies that he'd baked himself the night before. In doing so he took his eyes off the road.

A horn came blaring from behind.

Luigi looked up, and saw a car flying head-on towards him and quickly filling up his field of view beyond the windshield. The driver was nonexistent behind tinted windows. Luigi glanced instinctively at Booette, who simply sat there with a fanged grin, sitting in the characteristic silence of a bystander in a nightmare.

Luigi threw himself out of his revelry with a second instinctive motion, turning the wheel and steering his car back into his lane just in time, the car next to him swinging by, the sound of its horn muffled as it sounded from behind them, the driver just having realized what happened.

"Why didn't you yell anything, honey!?" He whined. "I could've been killed!"

Booette shrugged. "Your cock is still mine either way."

"WILL YOU STOP?!" Luigi shouted.

Booette simply stared at him, wide-eyed.

Luigi sat there with his heart pounding, seeing light sparkles in his eyes. He devoted every ounce of remaining conscience to focus on following the yellow lines of the road and staying inside the shoulder, going exactly the speed limit.

Some minutes later of slower driving, Luigi's breathing slowed to the point where he could function again. He then turned to Booette.

"Honey, listen, I didn't mean to yell at you." Luigi sighed.

"I don't mind, Luigi!" Booette giggled. "I think it's funny when you get mad at me. You get all red, the same way you do before you have an orgasm. Sometimes you even make the same face!"

"I'm..." Luigi ignored her remark, flushing. "I'm not mad at you. I just..."

"What is it, Luigi?"

"Look, it's nothing. I've never been with a…. person like you, so it takes some getting used to."

"Are you saying that I scare you, Luigi?" Booette teased.

"No, no, not really. Well. Maybe a little. Like when you make those weird faces."

Booette's smile turned to a shocked frown. "Luigi, you don't like my faces!?"

"No, no, it's not that. It's just… Well, alright, sometimes they remind me of death..."

" **I REMIND YOU OF DEATH!?"**

"W—ah—no!"

"You hate me!"

"I don't!"

"It's okay, Luigi, I know you don't find me attractive anymore!"

"Where are you getting this from!? We've only been together a month!"

"And you're already sick of me!"

"I understand, Luigi. A month is long enough for you. I'm not relevant anymore, am I? You were always too good for me..."

"All I said was sometimes I get creeped out by the faces you make..."

"I make those faces to get your attention, you idiot!"

"Oh wow I didn't know that, that's a relief! I always thought it was a weird phantomly instinct or something!"

"You're dumb!"

Luigi sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I said anything."

Bootte folded her arms, and looked the other way. "Hmf."

Luigi did not know what to say or do. So he continued driving. Occasionally he checked to see if whether or not Booette was still glowering. Each time, she had her arms folded and she was looking on out the window.

Luigi went back to focusing on the road, the trees and road coming on and rushing past. The sun was beginning to sink down from its noon height as the afternoon came on. Luigi felt a slight pounding in his temple, the stress of the drive, being noticed by the public and his fight with Booette.

He looked at his girlfriend instead. He hoped she would stop and would go back to her stalker-ish tendency to stare at him and reach out for him ravenously. He checked again, but saw that she was still giving him the cold shoulder.

Luigi frowned, and kept driving. The pounding became worse. It spread to his other temple, and began to turn into a migrane. His eyes became sensitive, the world becoming a blur. Unable to drive, Luigi began slowing down, and spotted an exit coming up, he decided to take it.

"Luigi, did you read that sign? This is the exit to Waluigi's Taco Stand..."

Luigi's vision was blurry. "I know, I know." Luigi sighed. "We don't have to stay. I just need a break, and to find some aspirin. My head is killing me..."

The two pulled in near the back of the parking lot. Luigi began rummaging through the glove box, his eyes feeling heavy, his head pounding.

"Um… Luigi? It looks like someone's coming outside..." Booette told him.

Luigi sighed. "I… I'm still trying to, find my..." He suddenly passed out on the wheel.

"Luigi?! Luigi!" Booette shook him.

"I… I just need a minute..." Luigi said softly. He then passed out, the sound of Booette's voice fading away, everything going dark.


	4. Waluigi's Last (Taco) Stand: Part One

"PLOT TWIST!" Waluigi yelled at Booette and Luigi, who was still passed out in the driver's seat as Booette shook him desparately. "It is I, Waluigi! I sold you the timeshare to your beach house!"

"Luigi, did you really buy a timeshare from _him_!?" Booette groaned.

"I… I didn't know Taco Timeshares was a front for a scam company." Luigi mumbled.

"Luigi, why are you such an idiot when it comes to real estate!?" Booette shrieked at him.

"And because you _forgot_ to pay last month's maintenance fee," Waluigi continued, "I am taking your whole investment back! Wahahah! That's right! Your money belongs to WALUIGI! YEAAAHH! You and Graveyard Smash over there are going to slave over the toilets of my Taco Stand for the next thousand years! WAHAHAHAH!"

"Luigi!? Luigi, come on, Luigi!" Booette pleaded, trying to shake Luigi out of it.

Waluigi turned around, continuing taunting them. He began to slide his hands up and down his sides, fake-making out with himself. "Oh Luigi!" He did a foot pop and made fake kissing noises. "Oh Booette! WAHAHAHAH!"

"You'll never have what we have!" Booette yelled.

"No, but at least I have your credit card number! Heheheheh! WAH!" Waluigi gave them the middle finger. "YEAH!" Waluigi then did a crotch chop. "Eat my dick, Luigi!"

"He's too good for you!" Booette shrieked back.

"WALUIGI TIME!"

"Go away!"

"WAH!"

"Leave Luigi alone!"

"NEVER!"

"Go choke on a taco shell!"

Waluigi continued his victory dance. "Oh yeah!"

Booette began trembling in anger. She set Luigi down, and turned to Waluigi, her scleras going black, in sharp contrast to the magenta of her eyes. Her hair began flowing, she undid her seatbelt, and went rising up out of the car seat. Shebegan floating over the car, across the parking lot towards him. Her teeth were jagged, her jaw collapsed inhumanly. " **I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL, WALUIGI!** "

Waluigi blinked, frowning. "Wheck!"

Booette threw a hand over her shoulder, and opened a portal behind her to grab a suitcase out of the back seat. She opened a new portal several feet above Waluigi's head. The suitcase came flying out of this new portal, struck him dead on the head and broke open. There was an explosion of sex toys.

Waluigi went crumpling to the ground, surrounded by dildos, vibrators, a riding crop and cans of whipped cream.

Booette floated towards Waluigi, preparing for the final soul-syphoning blow. Then suddenly there was a rattle of chains. The space between Booette and Waluigi became filled with a swooping, flying iron presence, a Chain Chomp that suddenly retracted. Booette fell to her feet, and took a step back, and turned.

There was a woman with short dark hair, in a flowing black dress with ample cleavage and jagged teeth standing on top of a dog-catcher's truck, her womanly figure a black silhouette against the afternoon sun.

"Get the fuck away from my owner." Chompette snarled.

"You again?" Booette made a jagged grin. "Can't you just go catch leukemia or something?"

"Last warning Danny Phantom," Chompette growled. "Go take your pussy, beta-ass boyfriend back up the road, and make sure to pay Waluigi's time—"

Booette suddenly materaized in front of Chompette, and punched her clean in the face, knocking her off the top of the dog car and sending her to go landing on her back in the lot.

"All bark and no bite." Booette quipped. She then jumped down into the lot, conjuring up a swirling torrent of blue fire.

Chompette pulled back her legs, and kicked herself off her back and back onto her feet, lithely. She quickly interfered with Booette's spell by throwing out one of her Chain Chomps.

Booette dodged Chompette's Chain Chomp throw, which flew wooshing over her shoulder to go crashing through the side of a mushroom car, smashing through its window, before finally getting lodged against its door from the inside. Chompette growled angrily, yanking on her chain as she attempted to pull it free. Booette closed in, a small storm of blue sparks welling up in her hands.

Booette raised her hand and began to conjure up the sparks into a fireball.

Chompette yanked her chain, the door denting from the inside.

The fire began to form into a fireball, ready to be unleashed.

The door flew off the hinges, smashing clean off of the mushroom car. Booette quickly turned her head over her shoulder and floated up into the air to evade the flying door. Booette came back down and began firing a flurry of punishing strikes with blue fire, using an array of kicks and punches to deliver each.

Booette kept up the pressure, driving Booette back towards the Taco Stand entrance. She knew in the tight confines of Waluigi's restaurant, her chains would be less effective. She also knew that Chompette's chains gave her an unfair advantage at close range.

Chompette pulled the chains, and sent Booette spinning away centrifigually, Booette screaming dizzily. Chompette jumped ontop of a car, got a running start down its windshield, leapt and did a flying drop-kick that hit Booette in the stomach so she went flying into the restaurant through the window of the restaurant.

Waluigi's restaurant was full of patrons chowing away on various Mexican dishes. The air was thick with the scent of pepper, lime and sauteed chicken. His restaurant theme played dully over the restaraunt's sound system. There was laughter, singing and birthday music. The walls were adorned with decorations, including several portraits depicting Waluigi as either a Pancho Villa-esque taco bandit or a shirtless, purple feather-headed Aztec god of Tacos.

Booette went flying in through the window, shattering the glass as she went. Merriment turned to shock as Booette landed in the middle of a dining table shared by a nuclear family of Toads, landing on her back and shattering plates, glasses, before sending a mess of nachos, tacos, beans and cheese careening off the side of the table.

Chompette then climbed in through the broken window, frothing at the mouth, sighting Booette, and then darting over the table to leap ontop of Booette. Chompette pinned Booette down against the table. Their fight broke down into slapping, choking, biting and hair-pulling. The family at the table simply stayed in place watching the fight, transfixed.

"Dad, I think I just went lesbian." Said the older Toad, a girl, to her father.

"I'm proud, honey." The father replied as he moved his head to get a better view before being accidentally kicked in the face by Booette, before going toppling over in his seat.

The rest of the family began to step back as the other patrons moved away, some filming the incident, most of Waluigi's staff doing the same.

Booette phased down through the bottom of the table. Chompette realized her hands were empty, and growled. "WHERE ARE YOU!?" She barked and stood up on the table, her wild eyes scanning the restaurant as she wiped bits of sauce, beans and sour cream off of her dress. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!"

Booette re-appeared, now in the middle of the restaurant. Her snap dress was tattered, covered in a yellow-red mix of sauces and stains, everything from tobasco sauce to enchilada seasoning. She was panting, strands of hair hanging down over her face. She brushed them aside. She raised her hand to allow several Boos to suddenly appear from out of the ether to help her fight.

"You're just like your boyfriend," Chompette grinned, tilting her head, her teeth gleaming. "You're a miserable, sniveling coward."

"You're just like your boyfriend, too." Booette gave a jagged smile back, undid her ponytail, shook out her wavy white hair, and took a new stance. "Not in Smash."

Chompette gave a low growl, and then charged right at Booette, leaping off the table and bolting across the restaurant floor towards her and her servants.

Booette commanded her Boos to attack. The swarm came at Chompette, whro threw out her Chain Chomps, and began to whirl them, in a sweeping, pummeling spiral pulverized tables, chairs, a soda machine, and sent boos flying. Booette quickly bounded up over a nearby utensil stand, and leapt down at her, kicking her in the face. Chompette yips at the strike, turned her head, and spat out blood onto the floor tile.

Booette followed up, taking a cup full of cold water and ice shavings off a table, and splashed the contents at Chompette. The icy mix went sliding down the open, V-cut of Chompette's dress and seeped into her cleavage. Chompette screamed, and hunched forward, holding her arms up against her chest. While Chompette was distracted, Booette darted forward and delivered a running kick, delivering it right to Chompette's face, and sending her toppling over the side of the counter.

Booette smiled, and then realized the door to the restaurant swung open. Waluigi stepped in, silhouetted against the afternoon sun, his apron flowing in the wind, a tumbleweed passing by the parking lot behind him. He looked up, from underneath his sombrero.

"It's WAHigh Noon." Waluigi said.

"Actually Mr. Waluigi, sir, it's closer to three..." The Lakitu clerk pointed out, poking his head over the counter.

Waluigi ignored his worker and brandished his tennis racket in one hand, and held it high over his head. He charged right at Booette, screaming. "WAAAHHHHHH!"

Booette deftly stepped away from Waluigi's first strike. Waluigi followed up with a horizontal swing. Booette stepped back again, blinking in surprise at Waluigi's speed. Suddenly, she heard the rattling of chains again. She glanced over her shoulder, only too late to notice Chompette up on the counter, throwing her chomps out again. This time her Chomps went low, and wrapped around Booette's ankles. She took one off step and went crashing to the ground.

Waluigi and Chompette closed in on her, Waluigi ready to stomp her into the ground, and Chompette ready to pummel her with her Chomps.

Then, suddenly, Chompette looked up, instinctively. "Hey baby, do you hear something?"

"Calm your stripper tits," Waluigi mouthed. "It's probably just another dog or something."

"No, I hear screaming..." She blinked, looking on with intense focus.

Waluigi paused to listen. There was a distant sound of what sounded like an effeminant man screaming, the sound slowly building until it became apparent, and loud.

Luigi came charging in through the entrance, screaming and moving incredibly fast. He punched Waluigi aside, knocking him up against the counter, and followed up by striking Chompette aside with his hip, sending her stumbling into the register.

Luigi stood in front of Booette, blocking Waluigi and Chompette from her.

"Are you in need of assistance, my Queen?" He asked, turning his head over his shoulder.

"Luigi!" Booette gushed, cupping her hands. "You overcame your stress migraine!"

"I took a power nap." Luigi said, giving her a thumbs-up. "Let's go!"

Waluigi and Chompette recovered, they stood alongside each other. Booette freed herself from her chains, and took her place at Luigi's side, holding his hand.

"Oh, look." Waluigi snorted. "My favorite gay couple."

"HEYOOO!" Chompette hooted.

Booette and Luigi exchanged insecure glances. Luigi quickly changed the subject. He drew attention to the smashed tables, the destroyed soda fountain gushing cola, the mangled plates and silverware that littered the front floor of the restaurant.

"This looks like expensive damage. I'd hate for it to get worse." Luigi remarked to Waluigi. "Give us the timeshare back, and we'll be on our way!"

"Wahahah!" Waluigi and Chompette shared a laugh. "Or what? You two get scared and piss everywhere? All your finances still belong to Waluigi! You're not going anywhere!"

Luigi and Booette looked on, nervously. They shared glances, and suddenly their resolve hardened. They squeezed one another's hands, and then let go, to close in on both Waluigi and Chompette.

"It's your funeral." Booette said, her eyes going black.


	5. Waluigi's Last (Taco) Stand: Pt 2

Waluigi took a swipe at Booette with his tennis racket. Booette swept backwards, dodging it as she floated across the floor. She turned around after sixth-sense detecting Chompette readying another Chain Chomp throw. Booette crouched down, pulled down one eyelid and made blew a long-tongued raspberry at Chompette.

Chompette growled and hurled the Chain Chomp right at Booette as Waluigi came up from behind her. Booette went invisible, so the Chomp phased through her body, flew and struck Waluigi in the balls.

Waluigi's eyes went wide, he immediately went crumpling to the floor.

Chompette frowned, whimpering.

Chompette weaved in and out of the circle of Boos, whirling her Chain Chomps above her head in a deadly spiral. Booette emerged from the crowd, floating, and threw a volley of blue fireballs at her. Chompette blocked each one by swinging her chains in a whirlwind so as to block the shots. Luigi charged in on her left flank, attempting to punch her.

Chompette turned without looking, and caught Luigi's blow by holding her chain out taut. She then wrapped the chain around Luigi's wrist before he could pull away. Luigi struggled until Booette threw another series of fireballs at Chompette, forcing her to go back to parrying, and leaving Luigi free to escape.

The two turned on Chompette, who took a step back, only to accidentally bump into a pigtailed Toad waitress who was standing in shocked silence watching the fight while holding a tray of fajita fixings. Chompette grabbed a whole chili pepper as Booette and Luigi moved up to her.

Chompette reacted first, and shoved the pepper into Booette's mouth. Booette let out a wild shriek, swallowing it whole and breathing out a small jet of fire from her mouth. While Booette bolted over to a table to dive her firey tongue into a pitcher of water belonging to a group of Goombas sitting at the table, Luigi was left to fend for himself.

While Luigi and Chompette faced off, Waluigi bolted into his kitchen, and then made for Kamek's work corner, where Kamek was standing ontop of an overturned bucket, using a spell that allowed him to lift the office phone, pens and order forms and also send emails at the same time.

Kamek wore a white apron over blue Magikoopa robes, and instead of a wizard's cap he wore a sombrero shaped like his old hat. He also had a mic headset, and a nametag that says "Hi, I'm Kamek". Instead of his staff, he now wielded dual magic maracas.

"Kamek!" Waluigi yelled. "Call in the entire staff!"

Kamek suddenly cut the spell, all of the office items went falling to the floor. He deftly caught the office phone. "They won't be happy about the schedule change..."

"What are you, their union rep?" Waluigi snorted. "Just get them in here!"

"I don't care about the turn around, you can come back in!" Kamek spat into the phone.

"But I wanna go home and play Big Chungus", Said an adolescent voice on the other side of the line.

There was a massive boom and the sound of boo laughter, as well as a grown man giving a high-pitched scream. Waluigi walked up and grabbed Kamek by the neck of his robes. "Follow your own advice and get out there too, or I'll fire YOU!"

"Alright, alright!" Kamek groaned, squirming.

Waluigi hurled Kamek clear across the floor of the kitchen and out onto the floor of the restaurant to land in front of Luigi and Booette, who had recovered and was now advancing on Chompette in tandem. Kamek immediately scrambled to his feet.

"Kamek!?" Luigi gaped. "What are you doing here?"

Kamek bolted at the two of them, leaping off the ground. On his first leap he did a spin, firing a Magikoopa spell at Booette with his left maraca. Booette deftly teleported to her right, dodging it. Coming out of his spin, he shot another spell at Luigi with his right, who ducked under it.

Luigi followed up by bolting right towards him, meeting him where he landed, pulling out his hammer and holding it high over his shoulder. Luigi swung his hammer down in front of him, ready to clobber Kamek over the head with it.

Instead, Kamek pulled out his maracas, and then used them to create a binding spell that suspended Luigi's hammer in midair. Luigi paused in surprise.

"You might remember I was once King Bowser's caretaker, and court wizard." Kamek said.

Booette fired a blast of blue fire at Kamek's flank while he was distracted. Kamek simply dropped his maraca, and caught the blast by projecting a ward spell that blocked it, the blue fire passing around him in a wild, blowing arc resembling that of a comet. Kamek stuck his foot under his maraca, kicked it up into the air, and then caught it.

"I'm of the opinion that our King has not quite been himself lately." He turned to block a series of fireballs thrown by Booette. "Though I guess he's not the only one."

Luigi recovered his hammer, the ward spell lifting as Kamek was unable to maintain it. He followed up, doing a swirling swing at him, which Kamek avoided by teleporting away onto the top of a nearby table, from where he summoned new attacks to fire at the both of them.

"I had the cheek to bring this to his attention," Kamek continued.

Luigi and Booette charged at Kamek together, Luigi with his hammer held high over his head, and Booette with flames in her hands. Kamek's spells went over their heads, missing and hit two clerks who chased after them from behind, transforming one of them into a dust mop and the other into a serving apron.

Luigi smashed his hammer down on the table which Kamek stood on. The table caved in, splintering. Kamek, standing on the far end, went flying across the restaurant, and smashed headfirst into the bandit portrait of Waluigi. He went sliding down the side of the wall to land with a thud on the floor. He recovered, his head having torn through the canvas of the portrait and was now stuck around his neck.

"So here I am at my new job." Kamek said, pulling it off his neck and tossing it aside.

"You're a manager at Waluigi's Taco Stand?" Booette paused to ask, glancing at Luigi.

"Blame the economy." He shrugged, and turned his head.

Waluigi and Chompette fell in behind Kamek. A small ring of Waluigi's loyal employees closed in behind them, toting a mix of kitchen knives, brooms and other assorted kitchen weaponry.

Waluigi and Chompette fell in behind Kamek. A small ring of Waluigi's loyal employees closed inbehind them, toting a mix of kitchen knives, brooms, plungers and empty beer bottles. Waluigi's staff was joined by a trio of Tostarenans forming a Mariachi band.

Booette again summoned a crowd of Boos, as well as Bow and Booetler, who appeared at her and Luigi's side.

The two sides then came at one another on the restaurant floor. Waluigi screamed out "WAH!", and the standoff instantly came to blows and devolved into a general melee. The air became full of the breaking of glass, screams of pain and outright, spiraling mayhem.

Waluigi hit a Boo away with his tennis racket, and kicked another away from him behind him with a frog-like kick. Waluigi stepped back away from an approaching swarm of Boos. A Purple Bomber dropped down from behind him, lighting two bombs and rolling them up to his shoes. Waluigi dropped to the ground with a whirl of his racket, and sent one bomb rolling at the crowd of Boos and another one flying back at the Purple Bomber. The bombs exploded, blowing them all away as Waluigi stood grinning evilly amongst the fire and flames, his apron and sombrero flowing in the shockwave.

Chompette snarled and charged at Booetler, who held out his towel as a _muleta_. He pulled it aside for Bow to come out from the right and smack her across the face with her fan. Chompette went tumbling the floor, only for a crowd of Boos to dog-pile on top of her. Chompette broke free of the pile, sending Boos flying again as her Chain Chomps flew out barking.

The Tostarenan mariachi band put a massive birthday sombrero on Booette's head and began to perform "Happy Birthday". She covered her face with her hands and sunk to the floor in red-faced humiliation while Luigi tugged and beat the guitarist who played on, unaffected.

"AAAAACK!" Kamek shrieked out in frustration. "I'm SICK AND TIRED of this farce! It's time to tip the scales…"

Kamek whirled around and cast a star-like spell over Chompette. Chompette stopped to look at her hands as her body began to shine and reflect in a rainbow-colored light. She began to grow several inches, then feet, until her size grew and she bust through the ceiling.

Chompette followed up by smashing the roof off the restaurant with her chain. Plaster, rebar and insulation went crashing down to the ground in a freefall. When the smoke and dust cleared, everyone looked up to see the clear blue sky overhead, and Chompette's head and dark hair eclipsing the sun. In the shadows, she bore her fangs again, her rabid eyes piercing down to stare at them, wildly.

Luigi realized that Waluigi was distracted looking up Chompette's dress, and turned to Booette along with the other Boos. Booette nodded. The Boos flew right up to her, and began combining with her. Slowly Booette came to match Chompette's size.

The two faced off as the fight continued in the decimated restaurant floor below. Chompette lunged out and threw her chomp at Booette, which stopped just short of her chest, Booette stepped back but this time not quickly enough. The chomp's teeth clamped down on Booette's sundress.

Chompette grinned, her fangs locked together fiercely.

Booette blinked in shock, her anxiety preventing her from registering what had happened. "W-"

Chompette retracted her chomp. This ripped away Booette's sundress in a glorious mess of white shreds, revealing her skimpy, white mini-bikini, that in turn revealed most of her huge breasts, save for the frilly white triangles that barely covered her areolas.

Booette stared down in shocked embarrassment. She then shrieked at Chompette, lunged at her, and retaliated. She grabbed onto the front of her dress, and tore it down, pulling it to shreds. Chompette's eyes went wide in shock, and she flushed deeply as her heavy breasts whipped out after being freed from the cramped bust of her dress.

The men and a respectable number of women fighting below all stared up in amazement, their noses bleeding, save for Luigi, who looked on faithfully, his hand over his heart.

Chompette covered her breasts with her hands, mushing them flat up against her chest, but leaving herself to Booette, who flew at her, dark sclera bringing her eyes to a firey purple.

Luigi bolted in between the gap between Booette's heels as she struggled with Chompette. Waluigi and Kamek ran out from out and around Chompette's left and right feet respectively. Kamek fired a Magikoopa spell at Luigi, which he deftly rolled out of the way of, only to be kicked to the ground by Waluigi's racket. Waluigi began stomping Luigi into the tile while Kamek ran up and began beating him with his maracas.

Booette fired her bubble breath into Chompette's face, breaking the struggle. Chompette flung back, swiping the bubbles away with her hands. In doing so, many swept down around their feet to go floating across the floor of the restaurant below. The bubbles absorbed several of the Boos and restaurant staff fighting below, not to mention several hiding bystanders. The bubbles picked them up screaming and vainly struggling from the inside to be carried up and off into the prevailing winds.

Luigi, Waluigi and Kamek were too busy fighting to notice one bubble floating up behind them, which absorbed all three of them. The three continued pushing, shoving, punching and choking one another as they waged a graceless floating struggle from inside of the bubble.

Their bubble floated up past Booette's crown, only for it to hit the top peak, which popped the bubble. Waluigi, Kamek and Luigi realized the bubble was popped, looked at one another gaping, and then huddled together in midair as they plunged back down towards the earth, screaming.

Their freefall was stopped abruptly as they landed inside the soft cushion of space formed by Chompette and Booette's breasts which were shoved together as they struggled. Waluigi, Luigi and Kamek, now in between Chompette and Booette's massive breasts, resumed their fight. Kamek beaned Luigi over the head with his right maraca. Luigi slapped him across the face in return. Waluigi freed his arms, poked Luigi in the eyes, and then bashed Luigi and Kamek's heads together.

"AAAAAACK!" Kamek yelled. "ENOUGH OF THIS!"

Kamek used his spell again to revert both Booette and Chompette back to normal size, the two shining with rainbow-colored light before shrinking back down to the floor. Luigi, Waluigi and Kamek abandoned breast and took a leap to the floor.

Chompette summoned her chomps, this time not to fight, but rather to cover up her round, supple and copious breasts. A nearby employee tossed her their kitchen apron, which Chompette quickly drew over her upper half.

Booette turned invisible, so her form showed nothing but the floating, torn remnants of her sundress and bikini bottom.

Booette grabbed at the scrap of the left side of her dress and with a sharp tug, tore it down and across, before ripping it off her body and chucking it aside. She then grabbed a white, jalapeno-adorned tablecloth off of an empty table. She wrapped it around her body, the white fabric pulling taut against her delicate skin, stretching dangerously tight at her hips and ass, and coupling her heavy breasts together in a busty bundle. With a tight pull, she managed to tie her makeshift dress up at her shoulder.

Booette made herself visible again, and looked down, only to see how the cloth stopped skimpily at her upper thighs. She shut her eyes, flushing in deep frustration. "Next time we're going skiing, Luigi!"

Luigi shrugged and spread his hands, cringing.

Booette joined Luigi and the two went back into the fight between the Boos and Waluigi's staff, still unfolding in front of the registers. Waluigi and Chompette were second to join.

"GET OVER HERE!" Chompette yelled, hurling both of her Chain Chomps.

One flew to wrap around Booette, who was floating through the air, summoning Boos. The other wrapped around Luigi, who had his back turned to fight one of Waluigi's employees. Chompette then wrangled them both over, bringing them to land crumpling onto the ground in front of her, the chains falling all around them.

Luigi and Booette struggled in their chains as Waluigi came in from the left towards Luigi, and Kamek came in from the right towards Booette. Kamek began summoning a destruction spell with his maracas, a red-black miasma forming above him as he chanted "Begone Thot" in black speech. Waluigi approached Luigi with a pan full of boiling-hot queso dip, ready to dump it on Luigi's head.

Booette looked at Luigi, nervously.

Luigi simply glanced at her, and then winked. He pulled his hand out from beneath the chains, and an swirling arc of lightning appeared in his hand. He then touched the chain.

The current spread up the chain, to Chompette. Chompette's body began to course with energy, strobing between blue and illuminating her skeleton. Booette added her own ethereal energy to the mix, forming an alternating current with Luigi that was enough to singe Chompette's skin black, and made her hair stand up on end until it looked like a sea urchin. She passed out, her feet on the air.

Kamek interrupted his spell to step back, and kept a cautious distance. Waluigi set down his queso and hurried over to Chompette. "Hey, stop being shocked!"

"You fool!" Kamek yelled. "Don't-"

Waluigi poked Chompette with his shoe. The current spread to him. His mustache turned into two round puffs. He fell to the ground, his body coursing with lightning, his long limbs twitching like a wounded frog.

Luigi and Booette cut the flow and worked their way out of their chains. When they were free, Luigi turned to Booette.

"I always knew there was electricity between us." Luigi joked.

Booette blushed, giggling into her hand.

Kamek began hurling a series of Magikoopa spells at them both.

Booette cast a force field that blocked Kamek's strikes as Luigi bolted up over the counter and dived behind it. Booette teleported and materialized next to him. The two were huffing, their breath was quick. Hair clung to the sides of their foreheads. They glanced at one another, and shared a quick kiss.

"Can we just teleport next time?" Booette asked.

"… Yeah." Luigi said, blinking. He then glanced towards the counter. "Kamek usually needs an open space to cast spells. Go for the kitchen."

Booette nodded. "Hm."

The two got up, but not before Kamek had broken through the forcefield and was now standing on top of the table. Luigi took Booette by the hand, yanking her out from under the counter and went flying through the push-through door to the kitchen, which was full of metal tables, cooking grills, fridges and metal racks.

Luigi and Booette fell away from the door, which was struck by Kamek's magic, which turned its metal and plastic into a giant rectangular corn tortilla shell. Kamek then karate-kicked it so that shattered to the floor like glass.

Kamek emerged, glaring. "I've had about enough of you two. I've had TWELVE people call out today, worked the last forty eight hours, AND missed my lunch break! This is the worst work week I've ever had!"

Kamek fired a fresh spell, which flew between the two and struck a nearby burrito flattener, converting it into a POW block. Kamek brought the block over to himself using his magic so that it slid across the floor towards him. He then used his magic to hurl it back at the two.

Booette summoned a huge breath, and used it to blow it back at him. Kamek caught the block in midair, and began trying to force it back against her with a levitation spell. The two struggled against one another, an artificial whirlwind began to generate around the POW block as Booette's powers were pit against Kamek's sorcery.

The force became too much, and the POW block collapsed on its own, creating an earth-shattering shake that sent the three of them flying to smack up against the walls, knock over tables, pictures and chairs, and bring silverware and plates clashing to the ground.

Booette quickly recovered as Luigi was slow to push off the plates and trays that covered him. Kamek emerged from the other side of the kitchen out from a giant pile of cans of sliced jalapenos.

Kamek, missing his maracas, began to wildly throw multiple spells at Booette. She dropped and ducked under the first one, it passing just over her head and crown harmlessly. She deftly sidestepped the next one, which passed her on the right. Finally, Kamek threw a spell at her dead on.

Without thinking, Booette opened a portal right in front of her. The spell passed into it. She lifted her other hand, and opened another portal, this one facing Kamek. The spell came through right at Kamek after being redirected out through this new portal.

"I hate my job." He groaned.

Kamek was struck by the blast, there was then a bright white flash and a burst of smoke. From out of this smoke a large sack went flopping to the ground with a thud. Booette walks up to see him transformed into a burlap sack of Kamek's Spicy Rice, the product cover revealing Kamek standing out on a garden floating in the middle of an Aztec lake, staring out desperately, and banging on the cover with both fists as if trying to escape.

"What happened to Waluigi's new manager?" Luigi asked, climbing out from the pile of kitchen debris and making his way over to Booette.

Booette simply pointed to the sack of rice. "Oh, I suppose you could say..."

Luigi walked up, examined it, realized what had happened, and then blinked in surprise.

"... He got sacked?"

Luigi slowly but nervously joined in with her laughter.

"Don't let him out of there." Booette ordered Luigi, immediately ceasing her laughter.

"I told you I wanted to put that past us..." Luigi groaned, spreading his hands.

The door opened. There was the loud clamor of the Boos and restaurant staff still fighting, the shattering of glass, the crashing of tables, screaming and swearing. Waluigi and Chompette entered, their clothing tattered, their skin singed, their faces marked by stark, wordless anger.

Booette stepped back nervously, but Luigi stepped in front of her.

"Luigi-" She protested.

"Go find the rental contract." Luigi whispered. "I'll draw them away."

"But what about _you?_ "

"Get out of here." Luigi said, slowly. "I don't want you to see this."

"I..." Booette looked down, and then back to Luigi. When she realized he wasn't changing his mind she shook her head. "Okay, Luigi."

He smiled. "Go."

Booette tried to smile back, but failed. She vanished, and passed away into the floor.

"Where'd she go!?" Chompette snarled.

"It's some kind of cheater's trick!" Waluigi spat.

Luigi began glaring at Waluigi and Chompette. The two fanned out across from one another, advancing on Luigi slowly and methodically, a closing pincer. Luigi's glare became more intense, his eyebrows lowering, his eyes squinting harder than ever before.

Waluigi paused, feeling instinctively something was wrong. Chompette followed his example.

Black negativity energy began to course and spark around Luigi's body. Concentrating, Luigi's forehead wrinkled until every last crevice was pronounced in its anger. The room became eerily quiet.

"Waluigi, what's happening?"

Waluigi watched stoically as Luigi's Death Stare began to enter its final and more unstable phase, as one might watch the sun explode. Similarly, the room became bleached in a golden white light. Upon seeing this light Waluigi's initial feelings of nihilistic resignation gave way to primal fear for his life.

Waluigi looked, and his eyes went wide. He screamed, and his hair turned white. He then crumpled to the ground, lifelessly.

Chompette escaped from the kitchen. She looked around the restaurant, which was utterly ruined. The walls were stained with melted cheese and tobasco, shards of broken beer bottles, glasses and plates lie strewn across the ruined surface, shining in the afternoon sun like a faint sea. Tables were overturned, lamp posts torn from the ceiling with wires hanging dangerously, a flood of soda and water flowed from the soda machine.

Most of Waluigi's staff had melted away from the fighting and were being chased off by the Boos, with only some fighting still going on. There was nothing but the wind echoing in through broken windows and the distant wail of sirens. After several deep breaths, Chompette came back to, only to realize Waluigi had not made it out with her.

Then, suddenly, she looked down a separate hallway over towards Waluigi's office. Booette was in the middle of stepping out of the adjacent wall, only half of her body phased out from the top.

Booette blinked in surprise. Chompette flew into fury and ran at her.

Booette floated up above Chompette, throwing blue fire down at her. Chompette deflected the fire by swinging her chomps around, fanning the flames outward, only for them to catch fire on the walls, the blue fire burning hot and into the upholstery. Chompette threw her chain chomps up at Booette, who shifted out of the way. Both chomps tore into the ceiling. She ripped them back out, exposing rebar, insulation and sparking wires.

Fire began to spread along the walls and the electrical fire on the ceiling spread to meet it. The fire alarm began to wail. The sprinkler system came on.

Chompette threw both of her chomps out at Booette, who went transparent, so that they passed through her harmlessly. The two chomps flew out across the kitchen before slamming face-first into a nearby stove with enough force to rip it clean off of its base and tear it free of its gas valve. Chompette sniffed the air suspiciously as the scent of natural gas began to fill the room.

Chompette then threw a punch at Booette. Booette bolted back, and caught her by the wrist in mid-flight. She yanked her to the right so that the chains on her wrist went flying. Booette followed up by shoving Chompette onto the floor, causing her to smash the back of her head up against the front of the sink.

While Chompette recovered, Booette grabbed one of her chomps by the back of the head, and then used her powers to turn it transparent. She deftly wrapped her wrist to the base of the sink, and then, still working with a transparent chain, passed it through for another loop, and tied it shut. She released the chomp, which went falling to the ground with a thud.

Booette floated several steps back, only for Chompette to recover and dash out at Booette. She was caught on the wrist by her own chain, and flew out from underneath her feet to land crumpling on her back. She got up, and bolted at her again, this time again yanked back by her chain.

She snarled and swore at Booette before turning around viciously and realized what happened. Drooling in rage she began to gnash and gnaw at the chains with her razor sharp teeth, sparks flying as she tore away at them. While Chompette was distracted doing this, Booette followed up by wrapping Chompette's other chain around her other wrist, this time chaining her other free hand to the opposite leg of the sink.

Chompette realized what had happened, suddenly stopping tearing at her chains to stare aghast at her other wrist. She stopped slobbering and began frothing at the mouth.

"Don't go anywhere!" Booette quipped, and then vanished into thin air.

Booette passed through walls and made her way to Waluigi's office, floating through the doorway.

The inside of Waluigi's office was dour and dully lit by a fluorescent light that flickered on and off. By the door was an empty cage with the door left open, and a welcome mat that said "Get Out". A thin film of dust and grime coated the linoleum floor which was already cluttered with loose copies of office papers and supply orders.

On the wall was a photo of Waluigi shaking hands with Jon Taffer. Booette noted Waluigi's work computer, which consisted of a simple mouse and mousepad, box and monitor. Purple 3D text that said "WAH" tumbled across the screen on max rotation.

Booette examined the front of Waluigi's desk, which was cluttered and covered with papers. She pushed over a work order, his smartphone which lock screen was blown up with direct messages from Ashley, and a vase full of roses sent from a friend at Team Rocket.

She sighed, and then turned her eyes to a safe in the far corner of Waluigi's room. Booette smiled, a lone fang poking out by her right dimple. She floated over to it and used her crown-laser to slice a hole inside of it. She reached in, and pulled out a letter paper featuring the timeshare contract, complete with Luigi's signature. Booette made a fanged smile, rolled it up, and took it with her, floating back to the kitchen.

The kitchen was now in flames, the fire spreading up and down the walls. A thick black smoke hugged the ceiling, only feet above the ground. Chompette was still writhing and pulling at the chains desperately, growling.

Suddenly, she looked up. There, hovering above the black smoke was Booette, her hair flowing, her shining violet in the dull glow of the fire.

" _G_ _wah ha ha ha._ _.._ " She cackled through jagged and fanged teeth, her tongue hanging out.

She took out the timeshare contract, and unrolled it. She took a look at Luigi's signature, and kissed it. She then rolled it back up before lighting a blue fire in her free hand. Booette lit the end of the contract on fire before casually tossing it over her shoulder on top of the gas leak.

Chompette's eyes went wide as she helplessly watched the burning contract fall towards the leak, before the burning paper met the gas vapor. The vapor ignited into a sheet of fire which ignited the rest of the gas line.

"Waluigi?" She whispered.

There was a cavernous, deafening roar. The floor of the restaurant was ripped up in a geyser of fire. She pulled one last time, and was stuck. A lone, furious tear slid down her eye before her form was obliterated.

* * *

Booette spotted Luigi emerging from the shattered remnants of the Taco Stand. His shirt was torn open, revealing his muscle shirt, stained with sweat and grease. His hair was a sweaty, frazzled mess. His small, lean chest heaved and collapsed as he stared at her in disbelief.

Booette stared back at him, her snap dress torn to shreds, revealing her bikini on underneath, the top was only held together by one strap on her left shoulder. Her hair was a tousled mess, her skin coated in sweat, her hands slick with grease and taco sauce.

Seeing one another, the two broke down into tears. They ran to one another and flung their arms around one another other in a tender embrace before kissing, furiously.

Booette turned her head, and slipped her long tongue into his mouth. Luigi met it and gave back his own, letting her tongue wrap around his.

He brought her up close, leaned in, and grabbed her ass in his hand. He squeezed.

" _Mmmh!_ " Booette moaned, before pulling Luigi down onto the asphalt with her, the two landing with a thud.

"… Ow." Luigi groaned.


End file.
